tiistai 24. kesäkuuta 2008

Vihreä sade

Väkevä sade
Nämä pitkät vuodet me
kasvoimme, kaksin

* * *

Mighty summer rain
All these long years we
have grown, together

2 kommenttia:

Wordcrafter kirjoitti...

This is beautiful, wish I could read them in Finnish too..

Möme kirjoitti...

Thank you, wordcrafter!
I really enjoy translating haikus into Finnish (or English, depending in which language I wrote them). It is such a challenge to find a similar sense and tone of voice, and sometimes the enjoyment comes from the fact that the two cannot be identical.

In this particular one, I'm quite fond of the Finnish word 'väkevä', the sound of which cannot be completely translated. It is a rarely used, powerful Finnish word which in this context also refers to growing, not just the sheer force of the rain pounding the ground.

In the Finnish version, I had to compromise the word 'together'. The more appropriate translation 'yhdessä' was simply too long. 'Kaksin' literally means 'the two of us'.

But I want to stick with the 5-7-5-form if I only can, so that I write true haiku, not free verse!

All that said, the most significant difference between these two languages is the length. Finnish language having much longer words, you can say much more in five English syllables that in the corresponding Finnish ones. Finnish language is more close to Japanese in this. When translating these languages into English, you either have to cut back in length, or add meaning and details. It is a challenge. But this is why I love my work as a translator!